I heard on a radio news report this morning (and if it's on the radio then it must be true, right?), that according to an AOL (*snicker*) user survey, half of all bloggers list "therapy" as the reason they blog.

Or in my case, evidence of the need for.

Posted by: Ted at 05:59 AM | category: Square Pegs
Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 57 words, total size 1 kb.

I am still employed. To my mind, it was touch and go there for a bit.

See, last week I made an incredibly silly mistake which happened at precisely the wrong moment, resulting in spectacularly bad results all out of proportion to the size of the original mistake.

It took the entire team most of a day to put us back on track, and the fact that it's the beginning of a new fiscal year only added to the festivities. There was no finger pointing or gnashing of teeth, just professionals digging in and making things right.

Our boss was on vacation last week. I stressed big-time all weekend about this morning, and whether I would still have a job. I got the expected (and deserved) ass chewing, and then we moved on.

But the back of my neck is still cringy, and I've become rather maniacal about double-checking and triple-checking things. A little late, but better than never.

Posted by: Ted at 07:24 PM | category: Square Pegs
Comments (11) | Add Comment
Post contains 163 words, total size 1 kb.

Yesterday, Dawn surprised me by saying that this print was me.

I was so surprised that when she asked me what I saw in it, I babbled some incoherent nonsense. She was right though, because the image resonated and stayed with me. So here's an attempt to answer your question.

I see serenity and solitude. The empty basket tells me that the day is ending, the toil of the day is over, and there is time for reflection. The mountain in the distance is unchanging, and even when the moods of the volcano change, underneath is permanence.

It occurs to me that the rippling path underneath the tree may be water, but my first impression was that it was a road, perhaps signifying one's life, with the ups and downs that happen to everyone. I also think it significant that the difficulty of navigating the road is trivial compared to the mass of the mountain beyond, or even to the lesser permanence of the tree itself, which live far longer than any single person.

I suck at this introspection stuff.

Posted by: Ted at 08:02 PM | category: Square Pegs
Comments (6) | Add Comment
Post contains 182 words, total size 1 kb.

1 This isn't cheesecake pinups and zombies.

Posted by: Victor at October 09, 2005 07:15 PM (l+W8Z)

2 This is yet another fascinating side to the Ted we all know and adore.

Posted by: dawn at October 09, 2005 07:43 PM (Dh1V0)

3 Maybe it's just a guy stuck in a tree?

Posted by: Stephen Macklin at October 09, 2005 08:27 PM (ics4u)

4 Dude, it's art. It's deep and shit.

If you want "guy stuck in a tree", see Norman Rockwell's "Proctologist Practical Joker".

Posted by: Ted at October 10, 2005 07:52 AM (+OVgL)

5 Interesting. To me, the empty basket would signify that the person hasn't done the task yet [like, maybe, going to town for groceries], saw a good place to stop for a rest, and is enjoying the view before going on.

Projection works.

Posted by: owlish at October 10, 2005 11:30 AM (bJF7u)

6 Seems t'me that the empty basket represents the boy's limitations. He packed some food and went off to reach the mountain, but the food is gone and he seems no closer. He is staring at the unreachable, knowing that he must turn around and go back home. Either he is thinking "Some day I will pack a basket big enough to last me 'til I reach that mountain," or "There ain't no way in hell I'm ever gonna get to that mountain so I think I'll just sit here for a while and appreciate what I CAN know about it. It's probably alot prettier from here, anyway."

Posted by: Tuning Spork at October 10, 2005 08:50 PM (jNDp0)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

Used to be, there were a lucky few who got to write blurbs for trashy paperbacks:

No man could satisfy her. Four men tried to tame this wildcat who knew no end to the daisy-chain game of sin savagery... until she met a woman as explosive as herself. Together they stormed into an arena of perverted pleasures that knew no parallel except in hell. -- I Want You, by Lester Lake

Nowadays, I think they hang out in AOL chat.

Posted by: Ted at 04:14 AM | category: Square Pegs
No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 86 words, total size 1 kb.

Look at this picture (reasonably safe for work). The ladies pictured are topless, but the body paint is good enough to hide that fact except under close and careful examination.

Disregarding everything except the spirit of fun and adventure, could you do that?

Posted by: Ted at 05:44 AM | category: Square Pegs
Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 45 words, total size 1 kb.

He's a good interview:

"Just put down 'bleep.' It's OK. Lots of things I say in the paper have bleeps in them." -- Chicago White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen

He's a good interview, with a little judicious editing.

Posted by: Ted at 04:48 AM | category: Square Pegs
Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 40 words, total size 1 kb.

I've been enjoying the hyperventilation going on among some conservatives over President Bush's nominee for the high court. Mostly because I remember the chorus of "he's the President so he should get to choose anyone he wants to join the Supreme Court."

Guess what? He did.

That ol' "be careful what you wish for" bites y'all in ass again.

Posted by: Ted at 05:01 PM | category: Square Pegs
Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 63 words, total size 1 kb.

So New Orleans Mayor Nagin has appointed a committee to oversee reconstruction. This is a different committee than the one appointed by the city council to oversee reconstruction. And then, not to be outdone, Governor Blanco has appointer her very own committee to oversee reconstruction.

More hands muddying the money trail, more people to blame when questions arise. These folks are old pros at the grand con game called corrupt government.

I'm reminded of the movie Operation Petticoat. Cary Grant was the skipper of a submarine, and Tony Curtis was his "supply" officer who specialized in creative larceny to get things done. During an air raid, the supply troops headed out, saying "In confusion, there is profit."

True words.

Posted by: Ted at 08:45 PM | category: Square Pegs
Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 133 words, total size 1 kb.

I was telling a coworker about a couple of plants I've got going on this year in our front yard and told her I'd take pictures.

(in the extended entry) more...

Posted by: Ted at 05:06 AM | category: Square Pegs
Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 194 words, total size 1 kb.

In the extended entry (warning - indelicate language) more...

Posted by: Ted at 06:42 PM | category: Square Pegs
Comments (6) | Add Comment
Post contains 22 words, total size 1 kb.

I only eat ketchup on two things: tater tots and grilled cheese sandwiches.

Posted by: Ted at 05:30 PM | category: Square Pegs
Comments (6) | Add Comment
Post contains 27 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Only if you eat with your left hand.

Posted by: Stephen Macklin at September 26, 2005 05:46 PM (ics4u)

2 I don't think so.
I eat Kechup in my Mac & Cheese, but at least I gave it up, putting it on steak......

Posted by: Blogeline at September 27, 2005 07:50 AM (YMz4J)

3 That depends. Is it Heinz-Kerry ketchup?

Posted by: triticale at September 27, 2005 08:33 AM (96P4G)

4 I can understand it on tater tots--but ketchup on grilled cheese...? YUCK!

Mayo. Gobs of it. The REAL kind, not that hideous Miracle Whip crap.

--TwoDragons

Posted by: Denita TwoDragons at September 27, 2005 09:33 AM (cYpnI)

5 I like mayo (or better yet, tarter sauce) on my french fries--does that make me Canadian?

Posted by: Susie at September 28, 2005 10:30 AM (a0oF7)

6 Susie, with mayo is how the Germans eat pommes frites. Tarter sauce sounds good.

Denita, I like mayo, even on a cheese sandwich, but not grilled cheese. Yuck!

Posted by: Ted at September 28, 2005 10:53 AM (blNMI)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

Posted by: Ted at 10:23 AM | category: Square Pegs
No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 8 words, total size 1 kb.

I was watching the Weather Channel coverage of Hurricane Rita, and they've got a reporter located in Sulphur, Louisiana. He was saying that the eye would pass right over or just to the west of them, and another reporter mentioned that the guy was "four for four" this season.

Four hurricanes, four assignments, four times he's been right near where the eye comes ashore.

If Jeff Morrow ever visits your town, get the hell out.

Posted by: Ted at 10:02 PM | category: Square Pegs
No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 89 words, total size 1 kb.

And thank goodness I'm not! Otherwise, folks would be bugging me to explain the goofy gas prices around here.

This morning, my wife called me on her way to work to let me know that a certain gas station in our area was priced at $2.54 a gallon. Across the street is another station that we occasionally use, priced at $2.59. Anticipating a rise in prices, I gassed up the truck at the cheaper place.

This afternoon my wife noticed that the first place had raised prices by a penny, to $2.55 a gallon. Meanwhile, all the way across the street, the other place jumped prices by twenty cents.

I haven't a clue. Maybe their distributor is sticking it to them and they're just passing along the price increase. I can believe that because their prices are insanely volatile compared to most brands in the area, and they're not always more expensive than everywhere else. But if they're trying to take advantage, they're the dumbest businessmen on the planet, because people remember stuff like that, and I'll bet that even when prices stabilize again their business will be down.

We tend to have cheap gas in this area compared to most. What's a gallon going for in your burg?

Posted by: Ted at 08:03 PM | category: Square Pegs
Comments (6) | Add Comment
Post contains 217 words, total size 1 kb.

Had a minor dental emergency a couple of days ago that required a trip to see the dentist. I'm pleased to announce (as if anyone cares) that *my* dentist is back from maternity leave and I'm very very happy about that.

So anyways, things went good yesterday and I have a quick followup scheduled for this morning, after which I'll go in to work late and probably stay busy there until this evening (end of the fiscal year coming up fast, don't'cha know). I'll see y'all tomorrow, most likely.

If you see a guy with only half his face working, and a big string of bloody drool hanging off his chin, say hi. It ain't me, but he's probably having a bad day and could use a kind word.

Posted by: Ted at 07:47 AM | category: Square Pegs
Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 131 words, total size 1 kb.

What'cha think?

Posted by: Ted at 06:37 PM | category: Square Pegs
Comments (9) | Add Comment
Post contains 6 words, total size 1 kb.

1 very nice.

Yours?

Posted by: Stephen Macklin at September 20, 2005 06:59 PM (ics4u)

2 Now come on Stephen... Those can't possibly be Ted's legs...

Posted by: Tim at September 20, 2005 08:11 PM (bw/kd)

3 You realize, of course, that you've set yourself an impossibly-high standard there.

Posted by: CGHill at September 20, 2005 08:42 PM (tEfsQ)

4 I like.

If you could somehow add this into a Werner Von Braun image it would be even better.

Posted by: The Maximum Leader at September 20, 2005 09:21 PM (zHoql)

5 I like.

Posted by: JohnL at September 21, 2005 02:51 PM (YVul2)

6 Legs and a haystack. What's not to love?

Posted by: Tuning Spork at September 21, 2005 08:02 PM (gGUnj)

7 so, your a leg man?

BTW, you're dating yourself w/the cyd charisse reference.

Posted by: michele at September 22, 2005 09:17 AM (0cwiO)

8 No, actually I'm a butt man, but I can appreciate a good pair either north or south from there.

Dating myself? I'm timeless. Besides, I love old movies, so who's to say I don't know her from late night TV?

Posted by: Ted at September 22, 2005 10:58 AM (blNMI)

9 Your birthday girl kicks the crap out of this one Ted. But then, that's just the me talking.

Posted by: shank at September 22, 2005 10:49 PM (jfEhX)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

Supervisor: What happened at the meeting?

Me: Bullshit.

Supervisor: No, really, I need more than that. Didn't you take notes?

Me (handing over a page and a half of meeting notes): Read for yourself.

Supervisor (reading carefully): What bullshit.

Me: Echo Echo.

*I made this up. Think of it as a composite of the last 100 meetings I've been to.

Posted by: Ted at 06:18 PM | category: Square Pegs
Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 64 words, total size 1 kb.

In today's society we hear often about inclusion, so with that in mind, I'd like everyone to join me in song:

Kum-bah-yArrrr, me mateys! Kum-bah-yArrrrr!

Kum-bah-yArrrr, me mateys! Kum-bah-yArrrrr!

Kum-bah-yArrrr, me mateys! Kum-bah-yArrrrr!

Shiver me timbers, Kum-bah-yArrrrr!

Keel-haul the sinners, mates! Kum-bah-yArrrr!
Keel-haul the sinners, mates! Kum-bah-yArrrr!
Keel-haul the sinners, mates! Kum-bah-yArrrr!
Shiver me timbers, Kum-bah-yArrrrr!

There the beastie be! Kum-bah-yArrrr!
There the beastie be! Kum-bah-yArrrr!
There the beastie be! Kum-bah-yArrrr!
Shiver me timbers, Kum-bah-yArrrrr!

I'm sure a fine crew such as yourselves can add a verse to the tune, no?

Posted by: Ted at 04:23 AM | category: Square Pegs
Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 103 words, total size 1 kb.

Hey, sometime last night Rocket Jones got its 250,000th visitor!!!

Kind of amazing, considering posts like the one above, eh?

Posted by: Ted at 10:03 AM | category: Square Pegs
No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 30 words, total size 1 kb.

Ignore the brilliant comedy for the moment and admit it, this brash and brassy redhead had some genuinely fine gams.

(click for super vitameatavegemin size)

Posted by: Ted at 06:08 AM | category: Square Pegs
Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 35 words, total size 1 kb.