Your kid doesn't have school because of yesterday's snowstorm? Wake the ankle-biter little angel up and have him (or her in my case) clean the snow off your car while you get ready for your day.

You'll feel better about having to go to work. I did.

Posted by: Ted at 06:02 AM | category: Square Pegs
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I just saw a commercial on TV for a cordless soldering iron that supposedly cools in seconds. They showed this guy attaching a wire to a doorbell on his porch, then slipping the iron into his shirt pocket, while the voiceover says:

Now that's smart!

No, it's not.

Posted by: Ted at 09:46 PM | category: Square Pegs
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Last night in the Borders bookstore, I noticed that the erotica section is in the same aisle as the self-help books.

Posted by: Ted at 11:41 AM | category: Square Pegs
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1 LOL!

Posted by: michele at February 24, 2005 01:23 PM (ht2RK)

2 Hmm. I've never gotten out of the Sci-Fi section...

Posted by: GEBIV at February 24, 2005 04:22 PM (XJsR+)

3 And just what were you doing in the self help section?

Posted by: Stephen Macklin at February 24, 2005 04:56 PM (UquFN)

4 Yep, I was in the self help section...

Posted by: Ted at February 24, 2005 06:27 PM (ZjSa7)

5 LOL

Posted by: vw bug at February 25, 2005 06:34 AM (aCuoh)

6 My 15 yr old son has noticed that at both Barnes & Noble, and Books a Million...

I confess I don't know how to grok that in fullness.

;-)

Posted by: De Doc at February 26, 2005 02:12 PM (uVm5h)

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Like Robert the Llama Butcher, I'm less than impressed with "storms" around here, especially after having spent five winters in North Dakota (that's how you tell time up there, not by years but by winters).

That doesn't mean I hop into my truck and hit the roads when it gets weathery out, because there are enough nitwits out there already, thank you. But it does mean that I'm at work, because things need doing, and just because it's gonna be a mess later doesn't mean it's a mess now.

Just in case though, there's a blanket and pillow stashed in the truck, and I brought a good book to read if I'm stuck here for awhile. I learned a thing or two over five winters in North Dakota.

Posted by: Ted at 05:53 AM | category: Square Pegs
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1 Yeah, I came in at 6 to beat the crowd, and I'm expecting that most of the day will see the staff clustered around a window saying "How do the roads look? Do you think they will let us leave early?"

Posted by: nic at February 24, 2005 07:08 AM (JijW0)

2 Haha. We only have rain here. Dad, the snow is supposed to stop tonight, right? I'll prolly call you tomorrow just to be sure the roads in the neighborhood are okay before I hit the road home

Posted by: Robyn at February 24, 2005 10:17 AM (AO/zQ)

3 I spent 5 winters in New Hampshire and I choose to stay off of the roads here in DC because of the people who don't know how to drive in it. Makes me look like a wimp, but I'll be the live wimp with no dents in my car.

Posted by: jen at February 24, 2005 12:23 PM (uvxDG)

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Back in April I put up a little quickie post about stripper music and the comments keep trickling in. Never one to leave off beating a dead horse, here's what we've got so far:

Feel Like Making Love - Bad Company
South City Midnight Lady - Doobie Brothers
Dreadlock Holiday - 10cc
Sharp Dressed Man -ZZTop
Come Together -The Beatles
Feel Like a Woman -Shania Twain
Welcome to Jungle - Guns N' Roses
Cut the Cake - Average White Band
Love to Love You Baby -Donna Summer
Crazy On You - Heart
Closer - Nine Inch Nails (this one was mentioned several times)
Indus - Dead Can Dance
Frankenstein - Edgar Winter Group
Rocket Queen - Guns N' Roses
Oh Bondage, Up Yours! - X-Ray Spex
The Roars Of The Masses Could Be Farts - the Minutemen.

These next few are jokes. I hope. I don't know if my universe is big enough to contain a place where these might be used:
Polka Your Brains Out - Weird Al
The William Tell Overture
Amazing Grace (with real pipes)
Don't Worry, Be Happy - Bobby Ferrin

Back to seriousness:
Sex Shooter - Apollonia 6
Nasty Girl - Vanity 6
Peach - the Neptunes
Smoking in the Boys Room - Motley Crue (I didn't know they did a cover of this, I remember the original by Brownsville Station)
Hot for Teacher - Van Halen
Cream - Prince
I Touch Myself - the Divinyls
What Kind of Love Are You On - Aerosmith
Cherry Pie - Warrant
Pour Some Sugar On Me - Def Leppard
Lick- from the movie XXX soundtrack
Sex On Wheels (remix) - Thrill Kill Cult
Erotic City - Prince
Toxic - Britney Spears
I'm Gonna Crawl - Led Zepplin (except for the intro)
Porcelain - Moby
Y'all Wanna A Single - Korn
"i like dancing to mairlyn manson songs the best"
Possum Kingdom - The Toadies
Engel - Rammstein
Stripped - Rammstein
Fire - Ohio Players (this suggestion gets a hearty "Hell Yeah" from me!)
You Shook Me All Night Long - AC/DC
Emotions in Motion - Billy Squier
Dr Feelgood - Motley Crue
Slow Ride - Foghat
The Battle of Evermore - Led Zeppelin
Britney Spears - Breathe On Me
Personal Jesus - Depeche Mode
Come Together - Aerosmith (cover)
Darling Nikki - Prince
Lap Dance - Nerd

I've stripped out most of the commentary (no pun intended), which alone is worth a quick read. We've heard from guys and ladies, both spectators and dancers, and this is nice mix of music, suitable for all occasions. Assuming of course, that having a pole dancing lovely as the entertainment is suitable for the occasion. As far as I'm concerned, they always are.

So I'll ask again, what music have you seen that really worked? What music would you like to see used?

Even better, script a five song "set" and post it in the comments.

Posted by: Ted at 12:19 PM | category: Square Pegs
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1 Hmmm. Might be nice to see some gal bring the Beach Boys' Surf's Up to life.

Yes. That would be nice!

Posted by: Tuning Spork at February 24, 2005 01:14 AM (CmmFP)

2 I cannot believe any stripper song list would not include Joe Cocker's "you can leave your hat on".

Posted by: hrod at February 25, 2005 09:53 AM (UDsyU)

3 Good choice hrod!

Posted by: Ted at February 25, 2005 10:31 AM (blNMI)

4 I have many self-made (self-help?) CDs that I like to call the "F-me" series -- f-me now, hard, slow, etc.

But I can talk stripper music, having been in quite a number of titty bars (girls appreciate hot girls too!). To this day, when I hear the following songs on the radio, I am transported back to Club Edison in Pittsburgh:

1. Cinnamon Girl -- Type O Negative
2. Alive -- Godsmack
3. From Your Mouth -- God Lives Underwater
4. Control -- Puddle of Mudd
5. Sex Type Thing -- Stone Temple Pilots

Damn. I need to go change my undies.

Posted by: dawn at February 25, 2005 08:21 PM (Dh1V0)

5 I agree with hrod. I can't believe anyone could listen to You Can Leave Your Hat On and not want to take their clothes off!

Posted by: Shawn Lea at February 25, 2005 11:08 PM (NsDTX)

6 And now a list from someone who was in the business
Here were the ones that worked best for me:
Cherry Pie- Warrant
Addicted to Love- Robert Palmer (good for pole work)
Born to Raise Hell- Motorhead
Are You Ready For the Sex Girls- Gleaming Spires
and of course
You Can Leave Your Hat On- Tom Jones

Posted by: LeeAnn at February 26, 2005 07:55 PM (vqSdN)

7 Start with tradition
David Rose - The Stripper

TonLoc - Wild Thing
Aerosmith - Sweet Emotion
Kiss - Take it off

And to finish it off with style
Alannah Myles - Black Velvet

Posted by: WV at June 22, 2005 12:45 AM (eyw/W)

8 Cherry Pie-warrant
Pour some sugar on me- def leppard
Breathe on me- Britney Spears
Smack my bitch up- prodigy
NAsty girl- nitty
Avenue d - do I look like a slut

I have an auditon for a club in about 5 days now these are my favorites so far i prolli will dance to pour some sugar on me. I love the 80's rock thing!

Posted by: pynkslip05 at June 26, 2005 09:22 PM (pO1tP)

9 From a girl these songs make me feel like dancing sexy;

Cherry Pie - Warrant
Milkshake - Kelis
Breathe On Me - Britney Spears
Stronger - Britney Spears
I Wanna Be Bad - Willa Ford
Ashlee Simpson - LaLa
Closer - NIN (agreed)
Ruberneckin' - Elvis the Paul Oakenfold remix

There's so many more but those are my favorites I guess. Thanks for the list, though. Some of these were duggested already anyways, though.

Posted by: Meg at June 27, 2005 12:11 PM (cOZap)

10 Oh and I forgot "Sexual" by Amber and "Behind Every Good Woman" by Tracy Bonham

Posted by: Meg at June 27, 2005 12:26 PM (cOZap)

11 I can't believe no one has even mentioned ZZ Top. Sure they're old farts now, but this whole scene was their image as a band. "La Grange" is probably their best stripper song.

Posted by: GT at September 13, 2005 11:14 PM (AjcNH)

12 Great. After I've already posted I see ZZ Top at the beginning of the thread...I'm an idiot

Posted by: GT at September 13, 2005 11:17 PM (AjcNH)

13 This one wasn't mentioned but deserves to be: For me this song is best for a hot lap dance. "She Rides" - Danzig

Posted by: lali at October 31, 2005 11:29 AM (M7kiy)

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How's that phrase go? What happens in ... stays in....

(in the extended entry - safe for work) more...

Posted by: Ted at 04:26 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Foggy Mountain Breakdown by Earl Scruggs (and friends), from the self-titled album.

Toe tapping perfection.

Posted by: Ted at 06:09 AM | category: Square Pegs
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(in the extended entry - kinda safe for work) more...

Posted by: Ted at 04:30 AM | category: Square Pegs
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I googled "Rocket Girl", and the results were better than expected, a nice mix of retro and new (in the extended entry). So what comes up when you google a variation of your site name? more...

Posted by: Ted at 05:52 PM | category: Square Pegs
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He coined the phrase "Gonzo Journalism", showed no mercy to himself or others in his chronicles, and like everything else he's done with life, he's ended it on his own terms.

Posted by: Ted at 08:16 AM | category: Square Pegs
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*yawn*

Like a troll, if you'd leave her the hell alone, she'd go away.

Posted by: Ted at 06:29 PM | category: Square Pegs
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What, I have to post something every day? Oh, fer crying out loud....

Posted by: Ted at 05:56 PM | category: Square Pegs
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The Carnival of the Recipes is coming to Rocket Jones next week. Please post your favorite recipes and let me know so I can link to it. Or, go ahead and email your recipe or link to:

recipe *dot* carnival *at* gmail *dot* com

That address is good for every Carnival, by the way. So c'mon and gimme your recipes, or I may be forced to come up with another creation like Mock Octopus Chowder.

Posted by: Ted at 11:53 AM | category: Square Pegs
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When I got home from work today (left at lunch to get a jump on the 3 day weekend), there was some animated show on the TV. Two mice are looking for the meaning of Christmas.

I hit the mute button, but it's still playing behind me. I have no idea what the program is, nor why it's playing in February. Very odd.

Posted by: Ted at 02:47 PM | category: Square Pegs
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From Random Nuclear Strikes (who trace the linkage much deeper):

Did you know that 47 countries have re-established their embassies in Iraq?

Did you know that the Iraqi government employs 1.2 million Iraqi people?

Did you know that 3100 schools have been renovated, 364 schools are under rehabilitation, 263 schools are now under construction and 38 new schools have been built in Iraq?

Did you know that Iraq¹s higher educational structure consists of 20 Universities, 46 Institutes or colleges and 4 research centers?

Did you know that 25 Iraq students departed for the United States in January 2004 for the re-established Fulbright program?

Did you know that the Iraqi Navy is operational? They have 5-100ft patrol craft, 34 smaller vessels and a navel infantry regiment.

Did you know that Iraq¹s Air Force consists of three operation squadrons, 9 reconnaissance and 3 US C-130 transport aircraft which operate day and night, and will soon add 16 UH-1 helicopters and 4 bell jet rangers?

Did you know that Iraq has a counter-terrorist unit and a Commando Battalion?

Did you know that the Iraqi Police Service has over 55,000 fully trained and equipped police officers?

Did you know that there are 5 Police Academies in Iraq that produce over 3500 new officers each 8 weeks?

Did you know there are more than 1100 building projects going on in Iraq? They include 364 schools, 67 public clinics, 15 hospitals, 83 railroad stations, 22 oil facilities, 93 water facilities and 69 electrical facilities.

Did you know that 96% of Iraqi children under the age of 5 have received the first 2 series of polio vaccinations?

Did you know that 4.3 million Iraqi children were enrolled in primary school by mid October?

Did you know that there are 1,192,000 cell phone subscribers in Iraq and phone use has gone up 158%?

Did you know that Iraq has an independent media that consist of 75 radio stations, 180 newspapers and 10 television stations?

Did you know that the Baghdad Stock Exchange opened in June of 2004?

Did you know that 2 candidates in the Iraqi presidential election had a recent televised debate recently?

If you answered yes to any of the above, what news organization did you hear it from?

Posted by: Ted at 08:38 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Here endeth the Nog Watch.

For those of you who may have an emotional investment, take solace by the fact that our Nog was truly the Methuselah of nogdom.

There has been a small, private closed-container ceremony.

Posted by: Ted at 12:43 PM | category: Square Pegs
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My wife noticed I had a stray hair on my head sticking straight out like an antenna, so I was forced to admit that when I was younger I'd been bitten by a radioactive spider. Unfortunately, it wasn't all that radioactive, so instead of being able to shoot webs from my hands, I just get really sweaty palms.

She said it was too bad I didn't get that "eat your mate" habit too.

Posted by: Ted at 05:58 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Today they will finally take this miserable corpse of a hockey season off of life support.

Posted by: Ted at 05:31 AM | category: Square Pegs
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From Rocket Jones - this will stay up top all day, scroll down for fresh nonsense.

Spank you, spank you very much (sorry, couldn't resist).

Have a wonderful day, because we all deserve it!

Posted by: Ted at 11:20 PM | category: Square Pegs
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My wife has to work late tonight, which really sucks. But being the shallow type of guy I am, she made sure to ease the sting with gifts. Lots of Valentine gifts.

A couple of weeks ago a box from Amazon showed up at the house and inside was a 12-DVD set called "50 Horror Classics". That was my Valentine's Day gift, and I looked upon it, and it was good.*

Then, last night she presented me with a card, some candy and a copy of The Beast! I talked about the movie here (it's not a horror movie, it's a war movie), and after almost a year of looking in the bargain bins at WalMart for this title, she found it for me**.

I'm a lucky guy, and believe me, I know it.

* I already had about half of these movies in my library, but this collection will allow me to sell off or trade in several DVD's, and with whatever money that brings I plan to pick up this for starters.

** Highly recommended, and for less than $6.00, you can't go wrong.

Posted by: Ted at 11:54 AM | category: Square Pegs
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