Time for some creative thinking!

Contact your local PTA's and volunteer to head up fundraising efforts for Uncle Sam. Picture the little patriots standing out in front of the local supermarket, holding a "Pennies for Cruise Missiles" drive.

Or for organizations, how about a "Sponsor A Bomb" program? For your donation, you get pictures showing your organization's name and logo on the bomb, along with the crew who're going to load it onto the aircraft and the pilot who drops it. You also get before and after photos of the target taken out by "your" bomb, and if it's a smart bomb you get a tape with the actual video feed as it reaches out and touches someone. Up close and personal, as they say.

I know, I can hear you saying that you already pay for all those things with your tax dollars, and you're absolutely correct. Think of this as a way to direct your bucks towards something specific. Ever hear someone complain that if they could, they'd make sure their money wasn't being used for [insert whatever here]? Same idea, turned 180 degrees.

Another thought. Why isn't PETA sending doggie-flak vests to our K-9 compadres? Here's an angle that may persuade them: for every military working dog that survives, the chances are that he'll point out more humans that will be killed! Safer dogs and less people! Win - win, eh?

Come to think of it, the tree-huggers outta be thrilled with that too.

There are untapped resources out there. We just need to give until it hurts them.

Posted by: Ted at 01:28 AM | category: Square Pegs
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I had to move a bookcase out of the way to get at the wall where our modem cable enters the house. Afterwards I was inspecting the new cat-5 cables, and noticed a little bit of nature happening right near my feet.

A yellow jacket was buzzing on the floor, caught up in a spider web. Also on the web was the owner, possibly a black widow, darting in and out, doing spider things to subdue the yellow jacket and make it more secure in the web. It was pretty fascinating to watch.

I finally got a spraycan of gloss clearcoat and hosed them both down until all movement stopped. Old joke, but true in this case: they died with a beautiful finish.

Posted by: Ted at 04:46 PM | category: Square Pegs
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Mr. Green puts it perfectly:

Abu Ghraib represents a betrayal of our principles, while this murder [Nicholas Berg - RJ] represents an expression of theirs.

Posted by: Ted at 07:56 AM | category: Square Pegs
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My wife once bought me a bumper sticker for one of my old beater vehicles. It read "Vulcan Science Academy - the logical education".

I put it on my back bumper. Upside down.

Posted by: Ted at 06:03 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Not quite, but closer than you might think.

When folks think about American Bald Eagles, they often picture the birds soaring through majestic mountains and nesting atop barren, craggy peaks far above the treeline.

What you might not know is that there is a bald eagle preserve in northern Virginia, about 30 miles south of Washington, D.C. Set along both shores of the Potomac river, this preserve is home to up to 50 bald eagles at a time and has three active nests. George Washington himself may have watched an eagle or two, since his Mount Vernon home overlooks the Potomac river just north of today's preserve. It's not unheard of for boaters on the Rappahanock river to spot an eagle circling lazily overhead as eagles continue to make a comeback from their endangered status.

Much of the preserve's land remains in private ownership, and not open to the public, but there are also several parks where hiking, boating, and camping are allowed.

You may remember when President Clinton released an adolescent eagle named Freedom at July 4th ceremonies in 1996. The eagle flew directly over an Osprey nest, and the territorial osprey (four of 'em) attacked Freedom and knocked him into the water. Freedom was rescued by the Coast Guard and re-released a couple of weeks later after recovering from minor injuries.

Posted by: Ted at 06:36 AM | category: Square Pegs
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They won the world hockey championship for the second year in a row.

The US took the bronze.

Posted by: Ted at 08:17 PM | category: Square Pegs
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(in the extended entry - click where it says "light this candle...") more...

Posted by: Ted at 06:24 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Nic offered up this link: online Pulp Fiction Greeting Cards. Too cool!

Snippets from the covers of dimestore novels.

"Shock trooper in the battle of the sexes!" -- Lust for a Green Beret

"Chuck Merrick, private eye, and the girl with the .32 gun and the 36" chest." -- Girl In A Jam

"A novel of temptation - and primitive passions" and
"She was his property: to keep, to beat, to use." -- Cracker Girl

"Trapped on a planet of peril, he dared challenge its monster ruler" -- An Earth Man on Venus

"High-voltage sex and spying" -- I Was A Teeny-Bopper For The CIA

"She was as tough as the hoods she worked with - until she met a man who made her feel like a woman" -- Syndicate Girl

Posted by: Ted at 06:29 AM | category: Square Pegs
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This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or neighbor!!

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

Posted by: Ted at 11:54 AM | category: Square Pegs
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1 very good!

Posted by: Key at May 06, 2004 06:54 PM (Tq1a4)

2 So very, very true. As the great Homer Simpson once said, "Women: can't live with 'em... pass the beernuts."

Posted by: House of Payne at May 06, 2004 07:34 PM (KA8kD)

3 LOL!! Your great at stuff like this! I still send "Rules For Dating My Daughter" to friends with daughters (or sons)!

Posted by: Tuning Spork at May 06, 2004 09:02 PM (FsDiJ)

4 Wish I could take credit for this one, but I found it on my rocketry newsgroup.

Posted by: Ted at May 07, 2004 07:16 AM (blNMI)

5 That is so not true.
I don't even like chocolate.

Posted by: Blogeline at May 07, 2004 08:39 AM (O27QY)

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Happy Birthday to the greatest baseball player who ever lived - Willie Mays.

"The Catch". That's all I've got to say.

Posted by: Ted at 09:51 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Over on the right column, just above the tagline archive. Sometimes I'm just too darn organized.

Posted by: Ted at 05:12 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Snippets from the covers of dimestore novels.

"An intense story of uncontrollable passion!" -- Sinful Life

"A beautiful girl - An amorous male - A great weekend" -- One Night With Nancy

"Her pagan desires violated even the loose moral code of the marshlands!" -- Swamp Bred

"A street-girl gives her real heart to a guy in the gutters of hell" -- All Dames Are Dynamite

"A startling view of life in 1984. Forbidden Love... Fear... Betrayal" -- 1984

"It promised a thrill! She fell prey to the foulest of rackets!" -- Marijuana Girl

Posted by: Ted at 05:53 PM | category: Square Pegs
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1 I assume you're familiar with http://www.pulpcards.com/?

I've sent a lot of digital birthday cards from there...

Posted by: Nic at May 03, 2004 07:22 PM (16A49)

2 Nope, but I have a feeling that it's going to become a new favorite. Thanks for that link!

Posted by: Ted at May 03, 2004 09:09 PM (ZjSa7)

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send good thoughts
eminate positive vibes
say a little prayer
wish upon a star
whatever, it's all appreciated...

hoping for good news this afternoon.

Update: Nope, no word today. To misquote Van Morrison: "Just because you didn't hear from him, that just means he didn't call."

Hopefully tomorrow. And as soon as I hear, I'll let you know too. In the meantime, those good vibes couldn't hurt, so keep 'em coming.

Posted by: Ted at 10:43 AM | category: Square Pegs
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(in the extended entry) more...

Posted by: Ted at 05:13 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Anyone remember this wargame?

The Ace of Aces game system was a stroke of brilliance when it was first released by Gameshop Inc. in 1980. Designer Alfred Leonardi, a history teacher, crafted a totally new game mechanism which used illustrated "programmed" books to recreate aerial combat. For the first time, gamers could fight a dogfight using simultaneous movement without cumbersome log sheets, enormous rulebooks, and many hours of playing time. In fact, a game of Ace of Aces played by experienced players can move so quickly that it is virtually a "real time" simulation.

The original Ace of Aces "Handy Rotary Series" came with a pair of brown game books each slightly smaller than a paperback novel. Each book contained 223 illustrations depicting various views from the cockpit of the player's aircraft. The view on each page was oriented to show the location of the opponent's aircraft. For example, the "Allies" book showed a view of the opposing Fokker as seen from a Sopwith Camel cockpit. Conversely, the "Germans" book showed a view of the Camel as seen from the cockpit of a Fokker Dr. I triplane.

Click here to see a sample page from the German book.

One neat feature of the system is that you can fly multi-plane dogfights, as long as you have enough books (or bookmarks) for each player.

I've got the original "Powerhouse" edition (#5 on the link above) which pits a Fokker D-VII against a Spad XIII. It's an amazing game, easy enough for kids to play, yet still rich enough for aircraft buffs to get serious about.

Other editions featured different planes and even a balloon-busting version where you could shoot down the tethered balloons used by both sides to hold observers and artillery spotters.

Later, WWII editions titled Wingleader were released. These used a similar, but not identical, gaming system and let you fly either a P-51 Mustang or Focke-Wulf FW-190 in combat.

Jet Eagles takes the concept into the modern era, pitting an F15 Eagle against a Mig29 Fulcrum. Since modern jet combat is often fought with long range missiles and you may never see your opponent, the system goes through some more tweaking to make it work.

I also remember a variation of the system done by another company where the opposing sides were individuals instead of aircraft. One player might be an armored warrior with a spear, while the other might be a skeleton with sword and shield. I never actually played any of these, but they looked cool at the time.

Posted by: Ted at 08:49 PM | category: Square Pegs
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About two weeks ago I mentioned my apparent talent for killing comment threads. Since then, it's gotten even worse than before.

If y'all are doing it on purpose, then knock it off. It ain't funny no more.

Posted by: Ted at 06:40 AM | category: Square Pegs
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1 Look! It's a comment! Right here!

Oh wait. Sorry. False alarm.

Posted by: topdawg at April 30, 2004 07:27 AM (JMaAr)

2 Come on over and start a comment thread. You can't kill it! It's already dead.

Posted by: Scott at April 30, 2004 08:24 AM (zL4bg)

3 I have a similiar talent but in verbal communication.

But considering what you said I'm apparently killing my comment threads before they have a chance to live, now.
I used to get a smattering of comments. Now hits are up, comments are dowwwwwwwn.

Posted by: SpaceMonkey at April 30, 2004 09:33 AM (DN55C)

4 OK, Ted, here's the deal! It's not good enough to comment "And that and this true and that's all." (not that you've ever posted that...).
A comment should not only build on the tread, but should probably also invite more comment.

Some comments seem like they're saying no more than "Hi! I'm here!" While I'd accept a simple "Indeed" as a worthy comment: it's not exactly a stimulus to incite more creativite comments.

So, in clumbsy closing: if y'feel like typing "That's a great take on refrigeration theory. Hope you're successful in your endeavor"
instead type:
"I'm intriqued by that theory, but,

*POST IS TIMED OUT IN THE HOPES THAT SOMEONE ELSE WILL FINISH IT*

Posted by: Tuning Spork at April 30, 2004 10:43 PM (HJ2yh)

5 Sorry, Ted. I seem to have unsuccessfully drunk eight beers...

Posted by: Tuning Spork at April 30, 2004 10:45 PM (HJ2yh)

6 LOL Spork, the only way to unsuccessfully drink eight beers is to miss your mouth and spill it on the floor. And that would qualify as alcohol abuse.

Posted by: Ted at May 01, 2004 06:33 AM (ZjSa7)

7 Oooo! Dad posted a coment... But it shall not die! (other wise he is no longer killin comment threads, he's committing comment suicide because its his own site!)

Posted by: Mookie at May 01, 2004 06:42 AM (ZjSa7)

8 The problem here, Ted, is that your comments are TOO witty, insightful, germaine etc--once we have read your response, we realize that anything we may add is superfluous...

Posted by: Susie at May 01, 2004 10:41 AM (qnxUP)

9 Darn it Susie, you keep that up and my hat won't fit. If I believed any of that of course, you flatterer you. BTW, don't stop.

Posted by: Ted at May 02, 2004 08:54 AM (ZjSa7)

10 I figured, I better comment since it has been almost 12 hours since you have posted your comment Ted

Posted by: Blogeline at May 02, 2004 07:56 PM (BzV/J)

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Well, steely-something anyway...

(in the extended entry - more or less safe for work) more...

Posted by: Ted at 05:22 AM | category: Square Pegs
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How many times during the playoffs do we have to miss a breakaway because some fan stands up right in front of the camera and blocks the view of the net?

Here's a suggestion: put one of those plywood characters - "you must be this tall..." - at the entrance to that seating section. Hell, make it a life-size cutout of Ottawa's Zdeno Charra (6'9") and don't let anyone taller than his stick sit in front of the cameras.

Posted by: Ted at 01:01 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Dairy Queen has been airing the best commercial I've seen in a long time. I can't find the actual vid online, but it's for their new Flamethrower Burger.

Super-bowl quality.

Posted by: Ted at 11:38 PM | category: Square Pegs
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1 Took me 2 weeks to find but it, but I did
http://emailreminder.net/-attach/movies/dqft.wmv

Posted by: Euth at May 08, 2004 01:14 PM (Y2SBJ)

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Imagine having only one channel.

Posted by: Ted at 07:52 PM | category: Square Pegs
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