October 06, 2003
Posted by: Ted at
12:26 PM | category: Square Pegs
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October 05, 2003
It's been really sad this year. Bears vs Packers. Ok, you expect the Pack to be reasonably decent, but nobody thought the Bears were going to be any good. Just because it's a rivalry doesn't mean anyone who isn't a fan of those two teams wants to watch the carnage. Or comedy. Like I said: sad.
Why not Raiders vs Lions? There's an epic for you. I'm a Raiders fanatic, but unless they pull their collective heads out it's going to be a long and painful season for me.
Maybe I'll just do yardwork today. 
Posted by: Ted at
09:13 AM | category: Square Pegs
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October 04, 2003
I needed that. Damn Giants.
Posted by: Ted at
10:06 PM | category: Square Pegs
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October 03, 2003
Enter your caption in the comments below, and the winner will get a special prize. Bill has agreed to whisper into the winner's ear that Carly Simon wrote You're So Vain about himself.
Apologies to those on dial-up, because the photo is a rather biggish. more...
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10:06 PM | category: Square Pegs
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Don tells of his favorite bumper sticker, which reminds me of a joke.
A severely overweight big-game hunter hires a skinny little guide to take him into the mountains.
more...
Posted by: Ted at
01:55 PM | category: Square Pegs
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Who's there?
Marvin the interrupting cow.
Marvin the inter-
Gimme a dollar.
Posted by: Ted at
09:06 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Not since "Virtual Jennifer: Skin or Other" has the synergist in me emerged so strongly.
This is why we should all fear Bill becoming a pumpkin. more...
Posted by: Ted at
07:15 AM | category: Square Pegs
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October 02, 2003
Afterwards, his defense attorney held a news conference and said that it would be unethical for prosecutors to call Malvo to the stand in front of a jury knowing that he would plead the fifth.
I'm not a lawyer, I don't even play one on TV, but how the hell would that be unethical? At worst, it should be a null action, neither good nor bad. Realistically, it would probably be looked at negatively by a jury, although it could be argued that the jury might look at it as picking on the 'poor' child.
Unethical? I don't think so.
Today is the one-year anniversary of the first death from the D.C. snipers. These two are guilty and everyone knows it. I'm glad to see the system working, and the defense fighting as hard as they can for their clients. It's not going to help though. I hope they fry.
Posted by: Ted at
06:34 AM | category: Square Pegs
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October 01, 2003
"I don't think she's been that good from the get-go," Limbaugh said. "I think what we've had here is a little social concern, and the media has been very desirous that a woman do well. There was a little hope invested in Huffington, and it's proved to have been misplaced."
When later asked about his remarks, Limbaugh further described Huffington as a "shrill, overbearing, know-nothing blowhard with nothing substantial to contribute". He also added that this revelation came to him that morning while looking in the mirror as he shaved.
Posted by: Ted at
07:45 AM | category: Square Pegs
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The government has the right to nothing not specifically allowed by the constitution. The vast majority of constitutions allow the citizenry rights, the US Constitution allows the government rights. Big difference. Critical distinction.
One person tells me that I have it 'precisely wrong' and that 'reality is the exact opposite'.
Am I brain dead? Did I state it as badly as that? Looking at it, I think maybe I did. What I didn't expressly say - but meant - was that most constitutions assume that the State has supreme power, whereas the US Constitution assumes that that people have supreme power.
Go on. Fling stuff at me. Spears and arrows of derision, or support and encouragement. Suggestions for getting this point across better than I have. Cash. Whatever.
Update: Agreement was reached after adding that one clarifying statement about supreme power. It's good to not be stupid, accidentally or otherwise. Thanks for the input.
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05:59 AM | category: Square Pegs
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September 30, 2003
The Orioles fired manager Mike Hargrove today after four losing seasons and are going to talk to Hall of Famer Eddie Murray about taking the job. I'd love to see Murray as manager, but it's not going to help. The Orioles will continue to suck as long as Peter Angelos is the owner.
Posted by: Ted at
10:00 PM | category: Square Pegs
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We have a national registry for this kind of crap. We're not using it to it's full potential.
Peeping Tom, meet Joe Exposure. Problem solved.
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06:59 PM | category: Square Pegs
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The guy standing on the beach, putting notes in beer bottles and tossing them into the ocean. If you watch sports, you've probably seen it. Cracks me up every time.
"Nice to meet'cha!"
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10:02 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Well, not quite. As the tale was told, it became apparent that someone was spinning this story as hard as they could. I'm going to tell you the story, without the editing and innuendo and camera work designed to elicit emotional response.
This homeless guy is a freelance writer. He's an older man, and a few years ago his business started to fall off. His solution at the time was to give up his apartment in Los Angeles (I want to say Laguna Beach, but I'm not positive), and spend the summer living at local camp grounds. His truck is full of camping equipment.
He's still not getting the amount of work he used to, so he's still living out of his truck. He has a cell phone. He uses public library computers to do his writing. He's not hungry, in fact in one shot they show a couple of cardboard boxes full of food in his truck. We're told that we should feel sorry for him because he doesn't have health care insurance, and that his ex-wife and kids don't want to see him because they're embarrassed about him being homeless.
This bugs me in so many ways. First of all, this man gave up his home voluntarily, he made a conscious decision to move out to reduce expenses. Second, he hasn't tried to get another job (as far as the story was told), he's just plugging away at the same job he had. Granted, the job market isn't the best, but an experienced writer can get work. While I admire his determination to work on his terms, don't paint him as some kind of victim when he doesn't succeed. Third, a lot of people don't have health care. I'm a lot more sympathetic to children or folks who were put out of work by factory closings than I am by him. How much does that cell phone cost every month? Add that to whatever he'd earn working part time at McDonalds and see if maybe that just wouldn't cover it, if it's that important to him. I don't think it is, I think we were supposed to think "universal health care would be a good thing" instead.
This guy isn't tragic. He's not a victim. He's made choices with consequences. Nothing was shown that would keep him from making changes in his life if he wanted to. We used to admire people like him because of their integrity, their refusal to change to meet society's standards. But in today's world, since he doesn't fit the "norm" as defined by whoever crafted this story, he's held up as an example of failure.
I intentionally used the word "crafted" about this story, because it was obviously slanted to lead viewers towards certain conclusions. I just hope it bothered more people than just me when they watched it.
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07:47 AM | category: Square Pegs
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September 29, 2003
The other day I saw a picture in the paper in which a horse was jumping over a barracade. It was a nice photo, a head-on view that captured the grace and power of the horse as he completed his jump. Completely ruining the majesty of the picture was the idiot on roller blades behind the horse, hanging on to a towrope, midway through the same jump.
Huh?
IÂ’ve seen two events that epitomize the stupidity. I canÂ’t even bring myself to call them sport. Yes, they both require skill and physical effort and possibly even talent, but so does rock climbing.
One event consists of two guys jumping out of an airplane. During the freefall period, one guy does all kinds of acrobatics with a boogie board strapped to his feet. HeÂ’s literally surfing the sky. The second member of the team has a video camera strapped to his head, and his job is to film the first guy. Their score is the combined totals of not only the acrobatics, but the quality of the camera work. How well in-frame did he stay? Interesting angles?
Calling this a sport is stretching it. To be truly extreme, forget the parachutes and let’s see how dedicated you are to your ‘sport’.
The second ‘sport’ is a classic example of piling on. Add complexity beyond all reason and common sense, for no reason other than to be more extreme. The first time I saw this event, they led in with a montage of guys on motorcycles, doing tricks and leg kicks and stuff while in mid-air after jumping off a ramp. Ok, this is a step up from Evel Knievel, whose daredevil stuff I don’t consider a sport either.
But weÂ’re piling on, remember? This event is a winter sport. These fools are screaming down this chute on a motorcycle with spiked tires and up a ramp covered with ice! The landing area is ice too. And the simple leg kicks and such are so last year. These guys are pulling out all the stops and doing back flips on their motorcycles, and one dude brought the crowd to their feet by getting off his bike in mid-air and letting go of the handlebars. This guy actually flew alongside his bike for a couple of seconds before getting back on in time to land. On ice.
I mentioned talent. Apparently a complete lack of common sense qualifies.
In the last year, a major extreme skateboarder – supposedly a professional – died of massive injuries when he fell multiple stories from a hotel fire escape. He was riding the handrails down on his board.
Two world-class mountaineers died when they decided to be the first to ski down a mountain from the summit. The peak was mostly ice, and the last time one was seen he was on his back, sliding out of control. The other managed to accidentally snag the rope of a group of ascending climbers, and almost killed most of them as well as himself.
Even television commercials are appearing that make fun of the excesses of extreme sports. This after a long run of commercials showing us how cool it was to be extreme. I’m sick of the word ‘extreme’.
I'm looking for investors for my new NASCAR towed-luge league. Any adrenalin junkies out there? This could be the next big thing.
Update: Forget luge, check out Extreme Ironing, the "latest danger sport that combines the thrills of an extreme outdoor activity with the satisfaction of a well pressed shirt."
Posted by: Ted at
10:42 AM | category: Square Pegs
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September 27, 2003
The Mexican government has protested the U.S. practice of handcuffing migrants with a chain that wraps around their waists during the airplane ride.
"If they have to deport us, they shouldn't treat us like criminals," said Martin Romero, 38, a field worker from Durango. "It's humiliating. We're just working people."
No, you're breaking the law. That makes you a criminal. And what is this 'migrants' crap? More political correctness, because we wouldn't want to hurt the criminals feelings now, would we.
While one of the biggest complaints is the dislocation caused by the long-distance deportations, the Mexican government rejected a U.S. offer to deport undocumented migrants back to their hometowns, at the U.S. government's expense.
Mexican Assistant Foreign Secretary Enrique Berruga said a previous program that deported migrants home in the mid-1990s was abandoned because Mexicans objected to being flown home.
Probably because if we just dump them back across the border then they can hook up with the next smuggler and try again. And keep trying until they make it successfully.
Posted by: Ted at
07:50 PM | category: Square Pegs
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September 26, 2003
Posted by: Ted at
09:45 AM | category: Square Pegs
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September 25, 2003
"They are just calling to tie up our lines," said Rick Wade, operations manager at the district clerk's office. "They just keep calling to harass us, like the telemarketers harass them, I guess."
Ya think?
Posted by: Ted at
08:09 PM | category: Square Pegs
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MacÂ’s vs. PCÂ’s. This reminds me of the whole democrat/republican debate, and my favorite quote about same. IÂ’ll paraphrase:
IÂ’ve got news for you Mac people, PCÂ’s are better. The market says so. Like it or not, Bill Gates is a better businessman than clan Apple, and his products are more useful to computer users. If it wasnÂ’t true, weÂ’d talk about Microsoft in the same way we talk about Commodore and Atari and Tandy. So grow up, enjoy the things that Macs do well and quitcher bitching.
I couldn’t think of a religion that doesn’t have ‘spread the word’ as a basic foundation. This makes sense, because what good is a religion (or any other social movement for that matter) which doesn’t attempt to grow? It’s also depressing, because this also means a continuation of religious-based strife. If everybody believes they’re right, then the only solution is elimination of the other guy. As for religious tolerance, the only time it happens it when it’s forced upon them, and it’s seldom comfortable for either side.
SUVÂ’s should be taxed like trucks. If youÂ’re driving a 19-passenger land yacht, itÂ’s a truck, not a car. If youÂ’re driving a do-nothing SUV-wannabe, then youÂ’re stupid and should be taxed for being an idiot (weÂ’ll just call it a truck tax). What to do with the extra revenue? Research into battery technology, because like it or not, thatÂ’s where the next big energy breakthrough is gonna happen. Notice IÂ’m not saying that SUVÂ’s should be taken off the road. Free choice is still free choice, but 90% of the folks driving SUVÂ’s donÂ’t need them, which proves that theyÂ’re stupid, and should be taxed.
Hell, call it the SUV lottery. Most of ‘em will line up to buy extra tickets.
Update: I was reminded of the judge who put the hold on the Do-Not-Call list. We've instituted a new policy in our house. Listen politely to determine source of the call, because we're nice to police, fire department, and veterans organizations doing fundraising. Anyone else, we get loud and verbally abusive. Screw it, they called me, so they must want to hear me, right? Oh yeah, they're gonna hear it all right...
Posted by: Ted at
08:25 AM | category: Square Pegs
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September 24, 2003
According to radio reports, almost 200,000 people still are without power in Virginia. Flooding continues, closing major commuter routes, and one of the mass transit lines is shut down because of an enormous 20 foot deep sinkhole.
The massive amount of rain we got night before last (about 2" for us, some areas got up to 6") caused a little flooding in my basement. We handled it easily, because it happens almost every time we get significant rain.
The morning commute has been a bear the last couple of days, but I'm counting my blessings because I didn't have to deal with the mess yesterday. They had to close a 6-lane drawbridge for emergency repairs, but that was north of me, and I live south. Whew!
Sometimes it's better to be lucky than good.
Posted by: Ted at
07:58 AM | category: Square Pegs
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